Single Mother: How Thorough Do You Investigate?

Perhaps it's because in college, I worked for some time in a group home for children, learning the countless stories of abuse; perhaps it's because I've observed so many single mothers around me chasing love at any and every cost- throwing caution to the wind; but I've personally fallen into the habit of putting every man I date under my microscope. Of course I'm not so overt about it that it makes them squirm under the bright light of my interrogation, but if they have any compassion for children and my situation, they will understand how imperative it is for me to know them - in and out. The two of us are not the only ones affected by our relationship, and eventually, if he's to stick around for the long haul, they will develop a relationship as well. As a steward of my child, it is my duty to ensure it is a healthy one.

You've heard the saying before, "children don't come with manuals." Well, maybe we don't hear it as often anymore, since there are a zillion books that would lead you to believe that they're each the ultimate guide in child-rearing. In the same vein, there are no hard answers to dating with children either. After I, a single mother, stumbled through the dark, knocking over things, and bumping my head against things, I've found my system, I've gotten a hold of my groove, and I've learned how to be a lot more thorough in my research of the men I have my sights on.

In my soon to be released book, Raise the Red Teddy: A Single Mother's Guide to Dating, I list a few questions for single mother's to ponder and investigate, encouraging women to hold their love interest's answers in their minds; not only hearing his words, but also using her eyes and ears to read in between the lines of his response.

What are his long-term goals?