Bachelor Week Recap

A week ago, I drove my family to Charlotte so they could go to Myrtle Beach and stay with the in-laws. My kids have spring break and I don't. So, I flew back to Dayton to confront a full week of work and solitude. I'm flying down there tomorrow to pick them up and drive them back. I also do birthday parties.

Yowee! Strap yourself in and let me tell you about all the crazy stuff I did during my crazy week of temporary bachelorhood:

I made myself funky meals: Whoo hoo! I could cook anything I wanted for myself! My family usually enjoys food with representation from all of the four food groups; cheese, milk, noodles and mac & cheese. In the food pyramid, these items can be located in the "bland" section.

Well, let me tell ya, one day I was in the grocery store produce aisle and I saw some leeks. I love leeks. But, my family would never eat anything that actually grows out of the ground. So, I lived out my wild fantasy and instead of just looking at them, I did what I had always fantasized about...

That's right, I took a leek, right then and there.

I also had brussel sprouts last night. I'm sure everybody within a 4 foot radius of me on the tomorrow's plane flight will appreciate that.

I fell asleep with the TV on: Oh yeah baby.

I made some friends: Keep my feet from dancing! I made two new pals; Squeek and Goldie. They are the family fish. I was entrusted with the duty of maintaining their life functions. But, I went the extra mile and talked to them a little bit, like ya know, maybe 2-3 hours per day? Somewhere around day five it dawned on me that they are underwater so if I say something like "Hey guys, do you want some food?" it actually translates to "Hebb grrs yebberzz zzrommmm frrr?" underwater.

I talked to them so much I had a dream about Squeek. I dreamed he had hopped out of his bowl and I picked him up so I could throw him back. But, when I did, I squished him to death.

The horror.

But, in reality, Squeek likes me. His eyes always seem to bug out when I'm around. Of course, he is one of those buggy-eyed fish so maybe I shouldn't take credit for that.

I trained on my bike: Maybe to the point of doubling the size of my prostate. Woot.