Hat Day and the C*NT

It was hat day, a day that many students looked forward to ever since hats were banned by the Board of Ed. It was the first class of the day, homeroom had just ended, and due to my intense dislike of the teacher, I had decided to sleep. This was meant to avoid conflict, which was a daily occurrence between the teacher and me. But that heinous rat-faced creature, a cheap excuse for a woman, had decided that we could not have a class devoid of her and I going back and forth with each other.

The problem began earlier in the year. I have a tendency to ask a lot of questions in order to gain a better understanding, but when it became apparent that she was incapable of answering those questions, she lashed out at me. She took my desire to understand, not as simple curiosity, but instead as me trying to expose her for the fraud that she was. Constantly, she would insult me, trying to make me appear like the stupid one. And constantly, I would come back with some wiseass remark that would always end with me being sent to the principal's office.

Hat day was one of the last regular days of school before finals, and I wanted to have a conflict free week in order to prepare for finals and avoid Saturday detention, as that was the only punishment being given out at that time in the year. I was wearing a white and black trucker hat, a shadow of the female form printed on the front in black. As I was resting, my head down on my forearm and my eyes closed, I felt the hat get pulled off my head and tossed onto the floor. I looked up and saw the vile beast that was Belbagno.

"No hats," she said.

"It's hat day. Call the office if you don't think it is." Other students backed me up, saying that the announcement was made during homeroom.

"Regardless of whether it is or whether it isn't, that hat is offensive."

"Offensive?" I said, "Why don't you teach the class like you're supposed to and let me sleep? I'm not bothering anyone."

"But you are," she replied, her crooked yellow teeth protruding from her mouth as she snarled like a sick dog.

"All right," I said, "I'm not in the mood to deal with you today."