Name Changing: For Silly Mothers, Sketchy Men and My Safety

A couple of days ago, I received a short and to the point email from one of my good friends I used to date some time ago. We'll call him Frank. Apparently, Frank had read one of my articles that mentioned the eminent release of my new book, Raise the Red Teddy: A single Mother's Guide to Dating and was commenting on the article. He wanted to know if I had changed the names to protect the "innocent."

I didn't respond to him right away, because the plan was to give him a very thoughtful and thorough answer, but being sensitive about the possible anxiety I've created by possibly being named in my book, I returned his succinct question with one of my own, letting him know that I did change the names of the players in my book, but it was out of concern for my own safety.

No, of course I would not be so crass as to blurt out the names of my ex's or the names of single mothers who's mistakes I boldly point out. That would make me a jerk, and no one would want to be associated with me because they'd be afraid of being blasted in my next book. No matter what people tell you, rest assured that I do have a conscience and I do follow the famous golden rule.

Initially, I had planned on using a pen name to promote the book because in Raise the Red Teddy, I named quite a few people who have committed evil acts against children, who still have not been apprehended. My concern was, that if I used my real name and their real names, eventually one (or more) of them may come after me. After agonizing over it for months, in the
end, I opted to use my real name and change all of theirs because my goal over all was not to round up an angry mob to try to capture these specific people, but to warn mothers that people like this are out there - so keep careful watch on the children - and the men brought around them.

I have a feeling that those who are mentioned in the book, whose names I've changed, will instantly recognize themselves should they chance upon it, however, I doubt they will ever read it, which is really a shame for both them and their children, because both would benefit from it greatly. As the old saying goes, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't force it to drink.