Sleep

Sleep, deep dreamless sleep. Death, deep dreamless death. What's the difference? For me there was none. I lay there for time beyond memory, no consciousness of my surroundings, no memory of those days, weeks, months, years. I thought it was safe there, but I guess the price for safe is too high.

I listened to the lies and killed my soul. She said it was fun, it sure looked like fun. Who would have thought it would be that dangerous? But the sting was not worth the thrill, or the consequential death.

Being a child is so much simpler than being grown-up. When I was a child I had no notion such things existed. I guess that's the danger in overprotection, you don't know danger when it's staring you in the face. That and you can never protect someone forever.

I can't believe she lied to me! It was innocent diversion, harmless spinning, how could it be harmful? That's what she said, but she must have known! How could she? Now I lie, dead and unfeeling, desperate to wake but fearful to stir. After that death, perhaps sleep is safer. Who wants to exist in a world with such hate, lies, pain, and death?

They say it doesn't have to be like this, you know. I don't have to remain dead forever. They say there's a man with a heart of love who can rescue me from this living death, bring me to a life of love, adventure, wonder, excitement...and yes, danger, pain, and hurt. What if it was true? What if I didn't have to lie here forever? Could it be true?

Ah, but it's too hard. I've been here too long, slept too hard, been too tired. I can't move. I can't, I can't, I can't.

Besides, who would want to rescue me? There are prettier princesses out there, smarter princesses, more accomplished princesses, princess that are easier to rescue and more worthy of the attentions of a man that great.

Who would want to rescue a Sleeping Beauty? I mean, look at all the briars up to protect the heart of this castle where I sleep. He'll be cut, pierced, bled by thorns. What kind of man would do that for a foolish, naïve, ignorant, selfish girl like me? No, I'll just have to be satisfied with this miserable death-like existence.