Independent Living, Assisted Living: Is the Time Ever Right?

Growing old stinks

"Shoot me before putting me in a nursing home." Many seniors tell their family members that they do not want to live in an assisted-living environment. Yet, those same seniors have prepared a durable power of attorney and an advance-care health directive giving their child(ren) the right and responsibility to make decisions for them. When should the attorney-in-fact decide to move a parent into a housing arrangement that provides some assistance with activities of daily living (i.e., assisted living)? What if the parent refuses? How does one evaluate how well the parent manages the activities of daily living (ADL), which include bathing, dressing, moving and feeding oneself? What is the role of the physician?

I have written the above. My mom is in This is my story. After several years of suggesting independent living and my mom cringing she has finally given in. I do not want to coerce her but the truth is that I think she will have a good time! She tends not to like people. I think as she gets older (78) isolation is very bad. Given her recent fall and her continued time in Whitehall of Boca Raton it is time - I think. I say I think because does a child ever really know when the time is unless the parent has Alzheimer's or cannot manage ADL? In those cases with a power of attorney then, yes, the children will be able to make the decisions. My mom;however, is lucid. I have to talk with her to discuss her options.

How did I decide?

Several factors went into the decision and as stated above although I have power of attorney unless my mom were not able to speak for herself she has the ultimate right to make her own decisions. So I is really we. We have many people including doctors, social workers and occupational and physical therapists telling my mom that moving north where I am most of the time and closer to her granddaughter and her husband is a wonderful choice. We've asked objective bystanders such as her roommate (Who wishes she had the money for independent living.) and her Certified Nurses Aides. There isn't one person who has said it was a bad idea.