Parenting and Discipline: Spanking or Not?

It has been said that parenting is not for the weak of heart. I say that unless you prefer your heart be ripped out of your chest, exposed to the world, (and possible emotional radiation), and then cushioned with bubble wrap and placed lop-sided back into your bewildered rib cage, do not have children. Do not get me wrong, being a mother has been the most incredible thing that has ever happened to me. Comfortable, safe, predictable, and confidence-boosting? Those words do not come to mind.

Take the area of discipline, for example. When I was pregnant, I sent gentle, patient juju to my unborn fetus, envisioning that I would have a child who would grow up to be, for the most part, pretty docile.

I should have known that God has a much bigger sense of humor than that.

Instead, I have a one year old particular enough to fancy one bowl of popcorn over another. When he does not get to eat out of the one he wants –mine, of course, he shrieks and knocks the bowl across the room. Now, I have worked with various children in different circumstances over the years. I can say that, for my part, I have tried really hard to maintain a consistent approach about standing my ground in these situations. I mean, who would have thought that a grown man or woman would find it so difficult to stand up to a one year old?! It seems, however, that regardless of the consistency, he still manages to find something to have a tantrum over. Throwing a bowl across the room out of rage is not acceptable. It was time for a “pow-pow” – our term for a spankin’.

I understand the many sides to the spanking issue. I have read all the articles on tender redirection and positive reinforcement. But as a parent, I can determine when it’s time to spare the rod and when it is not. Regardless of your philosophy, kids are kids. What works for some families does not work for others’. And no matter how you choose to discipline, it is never perfect, never without consequences and almost always heart-wrenching. We are just too fallible.