What is Love Really?

So, what really is love?

The Webster's New World Dictionary, Third College Edition, provides the following definitions among others:
"1. A deep and tender feeling of affection for or attachment or devotion to a person or persons; 2. an expression of one's love or affection ... 3. a feeling of brotherhood and good will toward other people; 4. (a) a strong liking or interest in something, (b) the object of such liking; 5. (a) a strong, usually passionate affection of one person for another, based in part on sexual attraction, (b) the person who is the object of such affection; sweetheart, lover ... 8. (a) God's tender regard and concern for mankind, (b) mankind's devotion to and desire for God as the supreme Good ...."

These definitions address the common usages of the term "love," but fall short of the explanation of genuine, mature love. Love is all too often mistaken for a tingly sensation when thinking about another, with butterflies in the stomach and goosebumps on the arms. It is also often confused with base lust, or the same reaction to visual or other sensory appeal as the "love" you might have for salmon cakes or supreme pizza. The real focus of each of these approaches to love is on the self: how do I feel, how do I react, what does it or him/her do for me. Self-centered, selfish. This also explains why those who regard all this as love tend to fall into and out of relationships, hurting themselves and others in the process.

The real McCoy, however, has its focus on the object of the love. It is a conscious decision, a firm long-term to permanent commitment to the other party. Hence the expression "brotherly love." The ability to distinguish between love and lust are one measure of the maturity of the parties involved.

Allow me to describe the love of the ideal father toward his child or of a mate toward his/her spouse. Because he loves me, he is slow to lose patience with me. He takes the conditions of my life and uses them in a good and healthful way for my growth.