Three Jokes About the Beijing Olympics: Laugh at the 2008 China Games

Between steroid scandals and Chinese human rights violations, everyone seems to be taking the 2008 Beijing Olympics a little too seriously. So, I have composed three jokes for the occasion:

1. Human Rights and Gymnastics

Before a gymnastics event at the Beijing Olympics, an American athlete sat next to a Chinese athlete in the locker room.

"Everyone in the States says China has human rights problems," said the American. "Is that true?"

"I'm afraid so," said the Chinese athlete. "In our legal system, it is hard to get a fair trial. The judges decide who has won before the trial takes place."

"That's terrible," said the American.

Trying to lighten the mood, the Chinese athlete said, "So, do you think you will do well on your floor routine today?"

"I know I will," said the American. "We've paid off the German and French judges, and the Russians are trading votes with us."

2. One World, One Dream

At a recent press conference, a reporter asked the chairman of the Chinese Olympic Committee about China's Olympic slogan, "One world, one dream."

"As recently as ten years ago," said the reporter, "Chinese leaders expressed their plans to spread Communism throughout the world by the use of force. How do you respond to critics who believe the 'one world' idea in the Olympic slogan sounds like a plan for world conquest?"

"That's ridiculous," said the Chinese spokesman. " 'One world' simply refers to the fact that the entire world is gathering together in Beijing for the Olympics. It's a statement of unity. Any suggestion that China is trying to conquer the world is absurd."

"And what about the 'one dream' part of the slogan?" asked the reporter. "What is the dream?"

"A utopian society founded on Marxist principles, of course."

3. President Bush and the Olympics

White house aide: Mr. President, I just noticed a conflict on your calendar for August 2008. You promised to attend the closing ceremonies of the Beijing Olympics on August 24, but you are scheduled to speak at the Republican National Convention only one week later. If you attend the Olympics, you won't have time to prepare for the Convention.