Fooling with Your Kids

Not only is it our "birth"-right to play jokes on our children, it is also our sacred duty, and one that my wife and I take very seriously. After all, how else will they learn patience? How will they learn humility? How will they learn to fool and embarrass our grandchildren when the time comes?

Embarrassment
There are numerous ways to embarrass your kids. Some kids are embarrassed by the mere presence of their parents when they're hanging out with their friends. This should be exploited whenever possible. Accentuate whatever traits you possess that your kids find embarrassing. If possible, combine these traits for maximum impact. For example, if your singing embarrasses them and they can't stand old country music, pull up to the school to pick them up with your windows open, belting out "Lovesick Blues" at the top of your lungs. Volunteer to chaperon the high school dance, and show up wearing the same pastel-colored velvetine tuxedo you wore to your 1979 prom. While there, offer to teach your daughter, her date, and all her friends how to do the "Electric Slide."
Embarrassing your teenage kids is almost too easy, and can be done pretty much anywhere at any time. Whip out the baby pix showing your son in the buff. Say things like "Aw, my little man is growing up. Looks like he's finally gotten over the 'girls have cooties' phase." These are especially good when your son is spending time with a new girlfriend.