Top 10 Crazy Things 1st Dates Have Said to Me:

Being Married Has Never Looked Better

Back when I was single I was a loser magnet. I could write a book on the things that happened to me from the weird to the scary. So I have compiled a list of the 10 craziest things I have heard on the first date. Sadly, these are all true.

10. I bought this jewelry for you. (followed by the ugliest fake gold "bling")

9. I think I am falling in love with you. (followed by the door nearly hitting me in the butt on the way out)

8. I'm married but we are seeing other people because she just doesn't understand me.

7. So how many kids do you want?

6. She'll have a salad I'm sure. (when ordering without asking me)

5. So is your friend Valerie single?

4. I go to the Star Trek convention every year, you should come with me this year.

3. You know the holocaust did not happen. It was faked by the Jews to gain American sympathy.

2. "Purty things for a purty girl" said on a card with some flowers.

1. Are we gonna f*ck or what?

It's hard to believe I let these great catches slip through my fingers!