Sports Briefs: Kicks Are for Kids

Chris: Will I be looked upon with askance if I admit that I'm throbbing with excitement about the upcoming MLS season?

Joe: MLS? That's like asking me what my predictions are for AA ball in baseball. Here's my prediction: the young kid, Adu, will receive more air time on ESPN than any other player. There, you happy?

Ralphie: The Los Angeles Galaxy is my favorite team so I am going to pick them.

Brad: From baseball to NCAA to MLS . . . Chris, we're jumping around topics faster than Dr. Phil jumps through humorous Texan metaphors--please, make it stop! What's next, Star Trek? A Parisi Squares Tourney on Holodeck Three?

Joe: What do you know about sports? I saw your NCAA tourney bracket. Yech.

Chris: Not to openly brag, but I'm an official member of FC Dallas' fan club. They gave me a free T-shit, tickets and everything.

Ralphie: We really don't want to hear what the cheerleader has to say, so let the rest of us talk.

Brad: Soccer may be one of (if not the) most popular sport worldwide, but it never interested me. In the US it seems that soccer stops becoming popular in college. It's a great high school sport, even though my high school men's team had a horrible record (even for a losing team) but from college and on, it falls behind.

Joe: Good for you, Brad, yet another failed Ohio sports franchise to cheer on for losing.

Brad: Joe, if you start up with another cooked up story again . . . I swear I'll sic George Mikan on you!

Joe: Soccer is a wonderful sport to watch for inebriated adults when it's world-class athletes playing. It's abysmal for sober parents when they're watching their uncoordinated kids kick other uncoordinated kids' shins for two hours early on a Saturday morning. Studies indicate that soccer is the most popular sport for young kids in America. There is a precipitous drop-off, however, as these children age. No wonder, imagine how much fun it is to be kicked repeatedly in the shin or groin . . .

Ralphie: It's cool. It's a fast game and I like to play. And they have really cool riots on those amazing video shows.

Joe: Go kick your dad in the shins or something.

Ralphie: You can't keep up, old man.