Midlife: The Time to Take a Pause

I complained to my counselor last week that my life isn't going anywhere, I'm not accomplishing anything, I don't know where I'm headed, and I'm not feeling productive. She smiled.

I explained how, after quitting my job last year,  I thought about going back because there I felt needed, appreciated, and competent, but then after having dinner with my boss and his wife, remembered why I quit that job and why I'd nevergo back. I spent many years of my life raising children, and that gave me a feeling of being needed, but they are all gone now and I'm left with an empty nest.  She nodded.

So now I am here at this point--facing fifty next year-- and I don't know why I can't seem to do anything, and on top of that, am having a temporary health problem with my balance that adds to my being stationary in my life...She laughed.

Then she asked if perhaps I had thought that maybe what I am doing right now, taking a "pause" in my life, isn't just what I'm suppose to be doing?

I told her I believe God gives us each something to do, and I'm sure I'm not getting my purpose met.

She said God also may be thinking it's time for me to stop and listen, and since I seem so adverse to it, he gave me a health challenge that wouldn't debilitate me or cause any pain, but just slow me down for awhile... It was clear she wasn't going to join me in my wallowing. So I began frustrated.

She asked, "Why do you feel you have to be DOING something all the time?" My only response I could come up with was so that I wouldn't waste my life, so I'd feel worthy of it. She said that maybe, just maybe, I am right where I am suppose to be, and maybe just maybe I might be worthy of life even when I'm sitting still and taking a break.

She sure gave me a lot to think about.