How to Save Your Life on the Dying Planet Earth

Survival Tips from an Ordinary Earthling

Welcome to the human race, population 6.6 billion-plus and rising exponentially on a fixed playing field of diminished natural resources filled to capacity with cutthroat players and rabid fans from the modern and third world countries of the planet earth. The earth is the only game in town, the only game you and I will ever know. The earth is on your team, my team, and our team, yet we are racking up more flagrant fouls and red cards against the third rock from the sun than ever before. Mother earth wants us to play fair and to follow the rules, but we act like big bullies dominating pickup games in our own backyards and trampling the true spirit of the game. We are losing the game of life. We are getting our butts kicked in lopsided fashion. On the topsy-turvy turf known as planet earth decent and ordinary citizens of the world are in for a crushing and humiliating defeat, and there is absolutely nothing anyone can do to stop it. The fate of mankind floats on the whims of the world's premiere power players, the political heavy-hitters and corporate head honchos calling one-sided shots from VIP sky boxes and who, like every two-faced big shot and big gun who came before them, are running the planet into the ground. The game is fixed and the jig is up. No one can stop them and no one can beat them. Why not join them? Leave the avant-garde thinking and rebelling to the artists and philosophers and take your place at the twisted trough of greedy ignorance and corruption. Stick you head in the proverbial sand and start doing a little point shaving and hand slapping of your own. Life is short; why not grab the gusto while you can? Become the consumer champ wealthy winner you were born to be and join the billions of planetary space cadets reaching for the short-sighted dream of half-baked high society on a dying planet doomed for distinction in the soon-to-be defunct cosmic big leagues.