How Television Allows Me to Enjoy Football and Be Engaged All at the Same Time

I have recently entered into a partnership with an unforeseen ally. My new comrade has enabled me to maintain the best relationship I have ever had, all the while allowing me to keep my sanity and preserve my happiness. Without my new friend, the bond between me and my beloved would not be as strong as it is today.

Thank you, television, for giving me and countless others of my brethren the opportunity to raise our glasses high and proclaim, “Yes! I am ready for some football!” Sundays can now be enjoyed at the bar with 50 of your closest friends, the way God intended. Going out on Monday evenings to the local tavern to enjoy the game no longer means getting that death glare from the Mrs. You know the look; the eyes are lowered, the mouth is clenched, thunder booms in the background. The look that lets a man know his next sleeping arrangement is an uncomfortable couch with an oh-so-small fluffy pillow.

Those days have come and gone, however. Television in the 21st Century gives me an advantage that my father never experienced at my age. Never will I have to fear Sunday afternoon visits to soon-to-be in-laws, or going for a walk in the park, or the always feared trip to the antique shops. No, Sundays were made for football. Thanks to my new wingman, every Sunday can be enjoyed to its fullest, without fear of “the look” or having to eat Fruity Pebbles for dinner the next three days.