The Black Crowes Return to Their Roots on Warpaint

[Dear Maxim Editors, since you likely have a job opening what with the recent "incident" over your "review" of the new Black Crowes CD combined with the "writer" in question, David Peisner, throwing you guys under the bus by proclaiming his innocence to the Los Angeles Times even though his words obviously contradict him, I present a sample:]

An Educated-Guess Preview:

It's been seven years since The Black Crowes gave listeners an album full of new music, and Warpaint satisfies that itch. The last few years of touring has knocked off the rust and this murder of Crowes is ready to slay you the neo-classic rock sounds that have thrilled their listeners since the '90s. It's a good mix of groovy rockers that will have you up on your feet and tender ballads that'll bring out the lighters, which Crowes' fans usually have out anyway.

[Artists are much more open to the notion of receiving reviews by hacks that haven't listened to their work when said hack is positive. You might as well give them four stars because surely no one will complain. The Crowes should be happy with the high praise, and the knuckleheads who read your magazine will be too busy, daydreaming without their pants over girls they'll never meet, to notice. Now, if you are going to be changing your ways, I have this for you:]

A Review:

After going on hiatus in 2002 and playing live since 2005, the Robinson brothers and their cohorts deliver 11 new tracks of classic Black Crowes material that should satisfy fans as they explore their musical roots, but if you didn't get them before, Warpaint won't change your mind.

"Goodbye Daughters Of The Revolution," the album opener, offers a call to "come join the jubilee" of both Warpaint and of what life has to offer. Music has a great power to remind people of what they are missing, which is why many bust "outta sawdust town" or the city to go claim what they need out of the numbered days.