Can Our Relationship Survive the Time Apart?

Q. Dear Zuri,

My question is regarding my relationship with my partner. We currently separated on March 14, 2008 after being together for 5 years. We are still living together. My partner states that she needs time (not space) to work on herself. She has issues such as anger management, patience, and self-esteem that she would like to work on. She feels that being in a relationship distracts her from being "selfish" and working on her issues. She states that she does love me and does not want to lose me, but needs some time to be able to work on these issues. My question is, am I wasting my time? I love her very much and wish I could be there to support her. I understand what she means and what she needs by being "selfish." But at the same time, I don't want to end up getting used or more hurt. Is there still a future with us or do I need to cut my losses? Thank you!

KW 08/79 and RT 11/81

A. Dear K,

You can currently trust in what your partner is saying. Psychically, I do not sense that there is a third party involved, nor do I feel that she wants to leave the relationship. Right now, she feels that her issues are affecting the relationship in a negative way and does not want to see it turn into co-dependency. So, she is choosing to withdraw and deal with her personal issues before she can go back to the relationship. She wants to reconcile with you from a place of wellness and wholeness. In order to do that, she needs to focus on herself before she can commit to any future with you. If she has not already, I recommend that she seek a mental health support group or private therapy sessions with a licensed professional to ensure that she gets all of the help she needs. By going inward to find her answers, she will experience a spiritual awakening and a strong message of the heart as to what future direction she wishes to go in the relationship.