The Inconvenience of Modern Conveniences

I know I'm living n the future. I've known it for several years now. Everything that was commonplace is starting to take on the look and feel of what I used to envision as the future. Consider light bulbs, no longer light bulb shaped, now they're like a corkscrew. My computer no longer takes up the entire desktop, and my cell phone looks like something they used to use on Star Trek to heal brain aneurisms, which is ironic, because I just read an article that implied that my cell phone might be causing brain aneurisms.

This future full of modern conveniences is creating inconveniences I would never have imagined a few short years ago. My girlfriend, PJ, can't operate our home theater system, for example. It's not entirely her fault, because we lost the remote control for the system when we moved last summer. Try operating your home entertainment system without a remote control. I dare you. Of course, I could buy a new, universal remote, but frankly, they scare me.

Last week the battery for my car fob died and I actually had to use the key to unlock the car door. I don't think I've had to use the key to unlock my car door in this century. I had the OnStar car phone active for a time after I bought the car, but I just couldn't get used to talking through the car's radio. I'll probably try it again later, but I don't really like talking on the phone while I'm driving. And speaking of cars, I was at a stoplight the other day and a small hybrid pulled up next to me. I was in awe at the car and the driver, who wore a pair of sleek blue tinted sunglasses. I know I will never be able to embrace this new age with such tenacity as this guy.

There's no way I can work on my car the way I did when I was a teenager. I could do practically any repair on my '67 Camero. Now, I open the hood of the car and stare in wonderment at the wall to wall engine. I don't know where anything is.