Have I Had Enough of This Marriage

For every marriage that is killed quickly when one spouse commits one unforgivable act, there are many others that die long, slow, deaths. In fact, in many of these long-lingering marriages divorce doesn't occur until long after the marriage has died. The question, "Have I had enough of this marriage," is usually one asked by people in those long-lingering, unhealthy, marriages.

These can be marriages that began without the foundation that is required to make a marriage last; or they can be marriages in which the foundation has been eroded by difficulties, time, growing up, and/or growing apart. At first it can seem as if there are one or two things that aren't quite right, but as time goes on it can begin to seem as if those elements of the marriage that are not right have a way of killing - one at a time - each of those elements that once seemed very right. Those destructive elements may be the result of flaws in the marriage, itself, or they may be something attributable to only one of the partners. As the saying goes, however, it takes two to make a marriage work; so even when the destructive elements can be attributed to only one partner, the result is still that there are not two people to make that particular marriage work.

The troubles of these marriages may not seem very big at first, but when - like weeds in a garden - those troubles continue to destroy the possibility of the marriage thriving, the partners may at first believe the situation will improve. Most of the time, couples do want their marriage to work. Most of the time, people have no plans of ending the marriage. After all, the troubles may seem manageable. It is common for people to want to overlook the flaws of a marriage or a partner because most people understand that all marriages take work, and that no person is perfect. After a long period of believing things could get better, the partners eventually reach a point where they know that is not likely. By this time they have been unhappy for a long time,. Often, though, one or both partners has just become accustomed to not expecting to have happiness.