Parenting an Only Child

Can an Only Child Learn to Share?

Who was it that decided that only children are spoiled and selfish? Just because a child comes from a big family doesn’t make him a great human being. I’ve met some pretty bratty kids who had siblings. I remember telling people that I had one child. They cautioned me to consider having another child, “to teach him how to share.”  Or they responded, "I bet he's spoiled." 

I agree that children have to be taught to share. Self-preservation is an innate survival instinct. However, teaching a child to share is not synonymous with force. When a child feels forced, bullied or shamed into sharing, they are robbed of its truest essence. True sharing comes from the heart. It is an extension of us in honoring and esteeming ways. Regardless to whether you have one child or ten, you want your child to be considerate of others.

Most of my recollections of sharing stemmed from family and friend get-togethers. Without fail, a child would come into the presence of the adults crying or angry because he wanted to play with something that belonged to another child. With complete disregard of the child’s feelings, an adult would say “let them play with your toy.”  The adults would feel that they had resolved the issue and prided themselves on teaching the children to share. But if you ever listened in on the conversation among the children, you’d know different. Talk about dissension in the ranks. A whole lot of pouting, taunting and arguing were going on behind closed doors.

So what does it mean to share? According to Merriam-Webster Dictionary, sharing has four different meanings: (1) to divide and distribute proportionately; (2) to partake of, use, experience, occupy or enjoy with others; (3) to grant or give a share in and (4) to tell (as thoughts, feelings or experiences) to others.