Sports Briefs: Thick and Juicy

Chris: I remember having to do book report after book report during my time in Incarceration High School. It would usually be an autobiography, and the teacher would make the students dress up as the person our book was about. If only Jose Canseco had known about books back in the day, and that he could even write one without knowing how to read. I would never have had to dress up as Jeff Hostetler with a drawn-on mustache.

Brad: Jose Canseco, now there's a guy who has seen his salary fall faster than Joe's pants rise above his hips. He was making 5.8 mil not too long ago, now he's down to 3 mil. I guess that's why he wrote the book--to supplement his lower class income.

Joe: Your girlfriend called. She asked me to convince you to get rid of the Jose Canseco feathered haircut. I think whoever wrote "Vindicated" for Jose probably did a good job. Ghostwriters can be very talented writers.

Chris: Every time I hear the word "ghostwriter," I imagine a ghoul hunting and pecking away on an old typewriter.

Ralphie: I don't have any respect for him for using drugs. He is supposed to be a role model for us kids. He doesn't seem like a nice guy.

Brad: To be honest, never read the book and probably never will--however, I hear it's good. I know he probably got a ghostwriter to do it--maybe it was one of us. Hmm, let's see, who here has the most elusive writing career?

Chris: Don't look at me, just because I'm a celebrity, and Canseco and I are both famous authors.

Brad: I wasn't. I was looking for about 30 years older. Ah well, hey Ralphie, mind doing a little book report and tellin' me all about it?

Ralphie: So he gets to talk about how he used drugs to make money? Yeah that's a great idea.