Warning Signs of an Abuser That You Must Know

It's hard to tell who may or may not be an abuser. Most of the time an abuser comes off charming at first. He will even go as far as saying violence against women is wrong in every way. He will act like your savior or knight in shinning armor. Unfortunately this all starts to dissipate and he becomes a person you don't know.

Many women get caught by the charm and fall helplessly in love, then things start to change gradually and he becomes obsessive. Your contact with friends and family starts to decrease, you find yourself fumbling fast to answer the phone quickly so he won't get angry. You catch him in lies; start to see quick sharp spurts of anger. He blames the world and others for every mistake or failure he's had. All his misfortunes are at the fault of others. He's easily insulted and feels frequently misunderstood. The abuser tends to be very impatient with children and animals. He will act condescending towards you and will over emphasize your imperfections. He will treat you like you're on the top of the world and then the bottom of the barrel the next minute.

The abuser will often insist your duties to him are more important than your dreams or desires. He will hint or demand you to stop schooling and quit your job. He often blames these requests on his "old fashioned" beliefs, that he loves you and just wants to "protect" you. The abuser will insist that you do things his way.

An abuser will often have the Jekyll and Hyde personality. He will be kind and considerate one moment and then cold heart and brutal the next. You will find he will pick fights and insist on holding things such as keys, cell phone or even your bag. The abuser will often become impatient or angry if you're away too long in the restroom, often coughing up suggestions that maybe you were meeting up with someone else.

Never believes you when you tell him your true feelings of love towards him. He will compare himself to past boyfriends and say that you made him second choice or that you think he isn't as good as him.