Lord, Save the Sovereign State of Florida

The state of Florida is located in the south-eastern part of the United States, sticking out into the Gulf of Mexico displaying an arrogance that is hardly justified. Except for enclaves along the east coast, from Miami through Vero Beach, to the north, there is hardly one decent bagel to be found. Florida is also known for its cockroaches (known locally as "Palmetto Bugs" the size of a football), hurricanes and the most venal group of local and state public officials in the entire world. We also seem to enjoy a substantial number of school teachers, mostly of the female persuasion, who are attracted to middle-school lads and act on that attraction.

But what sets our state at a place that is unique: our politics and election process. Since the presidential election of 2004 established that Florida was and is unable to count ballots twice in a row and get the same result each time, our elected officials have managed to outdo even their previous crazy records.

This year, the state Legislature has performed in its usual fashion.

Lord, save us; the state government is hard at work!

A few examples. On April 15, 2008, Governor Charlie Crist signed a wonderful law, the "Preservation and Protection of the Right to Keep and Bear Arms in Motor Vehicles Act of 2008." This law states that a holder of a concealed weapons permit in the state of Florida may bring his or her weapon to work, provided it is locked in the employer's parking lot. There are several points to be made here. First, any person who has not committed a capital felony within the past twelve months, can get a concealed weapon permit; I believe there are 11.5 million people in the state with such a permit. The names and addresses of those possessing such a permit are kept secret. When a child is born in Florida, the hospital automatically applies for a social security card and a concealed weapon permit. Next, everyone has a gun in his or her automobile anyway. Otherwise, how is one to resolve parking space disputes at Wal-Mart or issues as to merging onto the Interstate?

Our Flag. May she always wave -- or at least until someone shoots it down.

Credit: Free Clip Art

Copyright: Public domain