Strict Parents Can Harm Their Child's Personality

Excerpt from the book THE ART AND SCIENCE OF PARENTING available on www.lulu.com

Jeffrey Steel, thirteen, has changed three schools in last two years, due to poor performance in previous schools. He was admitted to the present one in the hope that, promised 'personalized attention' would help him overcome his problems. Here again he is lagging behind in the class without any signs of improvement.

During the last parent-teacher meeting Mr. Steel showed his displeasure and disappointment at Jeffrey's grades. He complained that his hopes were belied, and the tall promises made at the time of admission and taking of donation were not fulfilled.

Linda Simmons, the child counselor, attached to the school was asked to talk to Mr. and Mrs. Steel and take Jeffrey in her direct charge. Following report, was submitted by Linda Simmons to the principal of the school:

Mr. Steel, Deputy Superintendent Police, is a somewhat arrogant, irritable and easily excitable person who finishes all arguments with an emphatic wave of his hands. Mrs. Steel is a timid, homely woman, who believes in walking one step behind her husband. Mr. Steel returns home from his duty at odd unearthly hours. The slightest noise or disturbance at home makes him explode violently. He is a harsh disciplinarian who has a 'hands on' approach to all problems of children. He beats Jeffrey mercilessly on any pretext and even the slightest misdemeanor on Jeffrey's part has never been spared. During conversation Mr. Steel declared with odd pride: "I don't have to hit Jeffrey anymore, my loud voice is enough to make him piss in his pants". Jeffrey is terrified of his father and suffers from anxiety, insecurity and feelings of worthlessness. He hates his father, and several times he has fantasized killing him with a knife. He has also contemplated running away from home. Jeffrey lacks initiative, spontaneity and is less friendly towards others. He lacks warmth in his dealings and tends to be aggressive. To get even with his father, he deliberately under performs in the examinations. He feels that this is one way by which he can hurt his father.