What to Do If You Suspect a Co-worker is the Victim of Spousal Abuse

Know How to Help and How Not to Help

Most of us in the workplace have been through a variation of this scenario: a co-worker frequently shows up to work with bruises, sprains or cuts and tells stories of slipping and falling, running into a wall and other various household mishaps.

When I was 18 and working in a restaurant, I had told versions of all of these stories. I must have seemed the most accident-prone girl in the world (I mean, seriously, who breaks their nose twice around the house?). Or, more likely, my co-workers knew that something was wrong and didn't say anything.

If you suspect that one of your co-workers is the victim of spousal abuse, you will likely have one of two gut reactions: to ignore the situation by deciding it's none of your business or to try to barge in and fix it. Neither of these courses of action or non-action is helpful to your co-worker but there are things that you can do to provide support in a very difficult time.

Open up the lines of communication

Go out for lunch with your co-worker and listen to what she is telling you, whether you think she is lying or not. Do not be judgmental, but simply listen to her. Spousal abuse victims are frequently afraid to let people know what's really happening for fear of people not understanding why she is still in the situation. Spousal abuse can cause many abnormal reactions in its victims and some simply aren't ready to leave yet. Some are afraid to leave. Let your co-worker deal with the situation as best she can. You cannot force someone to leave an abusive situation who is not emotionally ready to do so yet.

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