How to Talk to Someone with Depression

If you have never experienced clinical depression or a mental health crisis yourself, it's almost impossible to understand what it feels like. Suffering from a severe depressive episode or having suicidal thoughts usually makes the victim feel completely isolated. Watching a friend or loved one suffer from a mental health problem is also tremendously painful. My goal in writing this is to help people who have not experienced clinical depression understand what a depressive episode is like, and help them be as supportive as they can to a friend or loved one suffering from a mental disturbance.

My personal experience with depression is extensive. I have suffered from clinical depression for most of my life. I have been in some form of therapy, on and off, since I was eight. I have attended group therapy and depression support groups. I have been hospitalized twice for depression (in 2003, when I was 19, and again in 2007, when I was 23). I have been on a remarkable variety of anti-depressants and other mood-altering medications. And despite these experiences, I have still found myself confused about how to help others around me during times of mental distress. I have frequently wished that I could be of more help to friends in need. It can be difficult to talk to someone, even if you are very close, when they are experiencing depression, because depression can distort perception and make even easygoing people sensitive or even defensive.

I have attempted to provide a few simple guidelines for talking to someone who is depressed, based on my personal experiences and those of friends and family members. Everyone finds different things helpful, and that's why these suggestions are so broad. They are only suggestions, based on what I have found useful in the past, and if they do not have a positive effect, feel free to disregard them immediately.