Top Ten Worst Things to Write in a Mother's Day Card

May 11^th is slowly sneaking up on us. No it's not time to change the oil in your car, its Mother's Day. If you really thought that it was the day you were supposed to get your oil changed, then I truly suggest you read this article in it entirety...maybe even twice. However, if you knew it was Mother's Day - well, then still read this article for a good laugh at the idiots who truly are clueless when it comes to writing sweet sentiments about the woman who brought them into this world.

First off before we even get to what to write in the card, let's talk about the gift. Sure, most women say they don't want you to "buy" them anything. They just want something that comes from the heart. Yeah...right. Maybe this works when you're a kid but now that you've grown and have a real job, she's expecting something to make up for ripping you out of her loins. Trust me; a craft project is just not going to make things even for that. So if you're going for the homemade gift, you better make sure and use real diamonds instead of glitter on your homemade card.

Now that you have your homemade, diamond-crested card, let's talk about what not to write in it. Yes, I know you're reading this in hopes of getting some jewel of wisdom of a truly sentimental, tear jerking, over-the-top phrase that will somehow make up for the 18 years of your life that she bent over backwards to feed you, pick up your dirty underwear, wash your clothes, and oh so much more. Well, if you feel you need to read an article to get this knowledge - then I feel it's much more important to inform you of what not to say in a Mother's Day Card.

Here are the top ten things not to put in a card for your mom this Mother's Day.

1.) Mom, you gave birth to me 25 years ago, and I appreciate it, but shouldn't you have lost the baby weight by now? Happy Mother's Day!

2.) Mom, wow...you're old...Happy Mothers Day!

3.) Mom, I know it's Mother's day and all, and I'm supposed to get you something...but, I could really use $50 bucks for a new tattoo. How about it? Happy Mother's Day!