Godless Hymns

I wrote some hymns for Atheists so they can join together and sing about the joys of non-belief. (The organ plays an intro, then the choir begins.)

HYMN I:

I descended from an ape,
The primate family tree,
I'm not made from clay;
Can't you see?

All apes are Atheists,
So there's your proof
Of evolution;
I'm a genetic goof.

I was not created;
I came from a single cell;
I can lie, cheat and steal
'Cause there ain't no hell.

There ain't no heaven;
Just clouds in the sky;
I'll be food for worms
The day I die.

When my life is over,
I'll have shot my wad;
I'll just be food for clover
'Cause there ain't no God.

So let the cow chips cover me;
I'll rot in my grave for eternity;
I'm a non-believer
And it makes me proud;
To swear "Goddammit!"
And shout it out loud!

When Jesus walked on water,
He had wires attached;
I don't believe in miracles;
'Twas a trick he hatched.

He fooled his disciples
Who were dumb as a post;
There ain't no father,
Son or holy ghost.

Morals don't come from God;
They come from my mind;
Pay me enough money
And I'll even be kind.

I don't believe in God
Nor the holy word;
I believe what I can see and touch,
Like the sh*t from a bird.

I can't see atoms
But I know they are there;
I have faith in science
And I can breathe the air.

So let the cow chips cover me;
I'll rot in my grave for eternity;
I'm a non-believer
And it makes me proud;
To swear "Goddammit!"
And shout it out loud!

Yes, I'll swear "Goddammit!"
And shout it out....LOUD...........

HYMN II:

Aliens from outer space
Are a possibility,
But there ain't no way
There's a God for you and me.

The "Big Bang" is the origin
Of all the things I know;
The evidence is sketchy,
But science told me so.

We were not created
By a higher being,
But from a singularity
No one has ever seen.

I know it does not love me;
This I know;
No, it does not love me
'Cause science told me so.

No, it does not love me
'Cause science told me so.