Ten Things to Do When Someone Calls You a Noob

Anyone who's played an online game has likely been called a noob at some point. More often than not, this will start a fight between two people of lesser intelligence, resulting in phrases like "OMFG U NOOB" flying back and forth. The thing is, there are only two reasons for someone to call you a noob in the first place. You have either:

A. insulted them or

B. done significant damage to their character

Thinking of it this way, you've already won! But wouldn't it be better if there was another way of dealing with it, other than screaming "STFU NOOB" over and over? Having given this some thought, I've come up with ten easy and fun alternative actions you can take when bombarded with this classic insult:

Stalk them. Say nothing, but ONLY go for their character in pvp. If you see him, chase him and never let him escape. NEVER. If he moves to another match... follow him. He will most likely continue to call you a noob, but your silence will work like a bullet proof vest against his insults. Plus if you kill him enough, it'll just piss him off more and eventually he'll leave the game entirely. Don't let him kill you though, if you think you're about to die, make sure someone else gets the kill.

Taunt them. This cane be used in conjunction with suggestion #1. Every time they die, regardless of whether you actually got the kill or not, taunt them. Use whatever option is available to you in your game of choice- teabag his corpse, laugh at him in Gunz, dance over his body, etc. Taunt him, and continue to taunt him until you know he has respawned. Do not stop taunting. Just the same as with the first one, NEVER let the flamer in question kill you. It will set you back three or four taunts in terms of you getting him to leave.

Say: "no u". This handy little phrase works in all situations. It doesn't matter if his argument is logical or not, it will fall to this bad boy. Every time he says something, no matter what it is, say "no u". He won't leave, he'll just keep getting more and more mad and ultimately play worse, allowing you easier kills, and more opportunities to say "no u". It's quite funny, actually.