The Death of My Five Day Old Twins Bobby and Kara

In 1998, when I was 34 years old, I met my soon to be husband after being a single mother of four children for five years. On March 29, 1999 we became husband and wife. Deeply in love we had all the dreams of a happily ever after that most married couples envision.

The Long Difficult Road to Conception

We both knew we wanted a child together but decided that we would wait at least a year or more. Trying to be responsible and adhere to the wishes that I thought that both my husband and I had agreed upon I made a trip to my doctor's office to obtain birth control. In March of 1999 I received my one and only shot of Depo Provera. Being the fickle man that my husband can be he changed his mind almost immediately and wanted a child sooner rather than later.

Knowing that it could take up to a year or more to conceive after taking Depo Provera I proceeded to research on-line to discover if I could "beat" Depo andbecome pregnant earlier than the literature had stated. 

Unfortunately Depo is true to its claim and it took us 20 months to conceive.  Those months were grueling.  I underwent a laparoscopy to determine why I was experiencing brown spotting  every two weeks, taking herbal supplements to jump start a normal menstrual cycle, along with taking clomid to help me ovulate. By this point I was an old pro at charting my cycles.  Each morning I would  take my morning basal body temperature and could quote "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" as if I were Toni Weschler herself.  On the third monthof a normal menstrual cycle I finally conceived in November of 2000. I will never forget that day. Those two dark pink lines on a pregnancy test were the most delicious eye candy I had ever seen. My husband and I were ecstatic!

Pregnant at Last!