Can a Parent Really Be Heard by a Teacher in Fifteen Minutes?

Mrs. D. wrote a scintillating article entitled “Preparing for the Parent Teacher Conference” on Associated Content. As a teacher finding herself on the other side of the table for the first time, she provides some great information for the parent in this situation. However, as a past public school parent, (now a homeschooling parent) I have to ask, can a parent really be heard in a fifteen-minute parent teacher conference.

1. As Mrs. D suggested, I went in prepared. I knew my children’s weaknesses and strengths, but in 15 minutes, I hardly had time to communicate the degree of my son’s shyness, or the intensity of my daughters need for attention. I felt like the teachers thought I’ve heard this one before” as they patted me on my butt, and dismissed my from their classrooms after handing me a handful of fluff, otherwise known as classroom work that was supposed to make me proud. 

2. I tried to address what I saw as serious problems my kids were having. I asked the teachers to try to help me understand why one child got A’s on her work and U (unsatisfactory) in her behavior. Perhaps she needed more stimulation, I suggested. All I got was rolled eyes and a statement that when her behavior was up to par with her schoolwork then enrichment programs would be addressed. Well, her work and behavior eventually matched. Her school progress plummeted. As for my son, I tried address why his grades would look like this: A, A, A+, F, B+ A. He was an A student but on occasion, he would bring home a “flag”. The teachers insisted he was having an off day, but no one wanted to address that this usually happened on days when he had been bullied. 

3. I tried to point out that schoolwork and behavior did not match behavior and progress at home. This was usually followed by a blank stare that suggested I had some nerve to even try to evaluate them myself.