Can Mothers Be Their Child's Friend?

I've noticed a pattern of parenting books lately that say that parents cannot be their children's friends. I couldn't disagree with that advice more. Parenting books are missing out on a vital piece of information: you can be your child's friend as long as you make your child perfectly aware of when it's time to turn that friend switch off and on. My mother is my absolute best friend, but at the same time, she scares the hell out of me, and I respect her for that. In the steps below, I give mothers advice from a child's perspective on how a mother can be her child's friend.

Step 1: Do not accuse your child of something without any proof.

In parenting books, there's advice on searching your child's room and making sure they're doing nothing wrong. While I do see a reason to search a child's room if you have some sort of proof that there could be some serious issues going on, do not make your child feel like a criminal in her own home. I've worn glasses since fourth grade, and I would constantly fall asleep writing in my journal and forget to take my glasses off. I'd wake up the next morning with my journal under my arms or on my bed stand close to me. As I got older and started wearing contacts, I'd feel some random finger opening my eye to see if my contacts were in or opening my contact case, shaking me to take them out, and if it failed, my journal was removed again. For the life of me, I have no idea how my mother had enough discipline to not read my journal, but as far as I can tell (and there were a couple of times where I faked being sleep to see if my mother really was reading it), she never read my journal. That type of trust made me want to tell my mother more simply because she didn't hassle me for information.

Step 2: Educate your child on sex education and her body.