How to Find the Graves of Deceased Relatives - Where Are My Ancestors Buried?

In our family, decorating graves on Memorial Day is a long standing tradition that is backed by oral history. While we can usually remember where Grandma & Grandpa are buried, when it comes to the rest of our relatives, we often rely on our great aunts and parents to point out graves belonging to relatives we never even knew. Even though great-great grandpa Oliver died back in 1903 and great great aunt Mildred died in 1878, we know all about these people and where they are buried because of the family stories passed down from one member of the family to another.

The danger with oral tradition is that occasionally a member of the family gets omitted and over time his grave is forgotten. To locate those graves takes a little bit of detective work.

Call your relatives

Before beginning a search, it helps to call some of your older relatives first. Grandparents and great-aunts and uncles usually have a vague recollection where someone may have died or have been buried. Tapping the relatives for information is a great way of narrowing down the field. Once you have a general idea of the county or state where your missing relative may have died, the next step is to write the Bureau of Vital Statistics in the state of his or her death.

The Bureau of Vital Statistics

The Bureau of Vital Statistics is a state agency that holds all the marriage, birth, divorce, and death statistics in that particularly state. If you know what state your great uncle Whosis or great grandma Whatshername died in, you can write (or email) the Bureau of Vital Statistics in that state and request a copy of the death certificate. If your relatives think your missing ancestor may have died in one of several states, you will have to contact all those states.

People who request death certificates usually have to present some form of identification along with a reason for the certificate. There is also a nominal charge to have a photocopy made of the certificate. Death certificates can be requested by email or snail mail, using forms found on line. You can expect a wait of between 10-21 business days before receiving the death certificate.