Why Silda Spitzer Will - and Should - Stand by Her Man

At the end of Elliot Spitzer's new conference in which he acknowledged his infidelity and adultery in his marriage and tendered his resignation as Governor of the state of New York, one question lingered after Spitzer had left the podium. That question, posed by a female reporter for a tabloid, was addressed to his wife, Silda: "Will you be leaving him?" Left unanswered, the question hung in the air for several minutes, the stench of its audacity spreading like a poisonous mushroom cloud.

How dare one woman cheapen another of her gender in the name of "journalism"? As outraged as I felt by the question, it was, perhaps, a legitimate one when posed by a reporter who was of a different age, a different time, a different culture, than Silda - in other words, a woman who didn't know better. Only those of us who share the bond of age, of long marriages, of concessions made in dark and lonely nights, could honestly answer that question - not just for Silda, but for ourselves as well.

There will always be women like Silda Wall: highly intelligent, well-educated, passionate about their careers and their families. Look no further than Hillary Rodham Clinton for proof: Ivy League educated, considered by most to be the more intelligent spouse in her marriage, also, like Silda, the victim in a high-profile marriage in which her husband undeniably cheated on her during their marriage. It's widely assumed that the deal that HRC cut with Randy Bill was his support for her as she sought political office for herself, on her own terms. At this particular point in time, we don't know what, or even if, Silda will seek the same concessions from her straying spouse. My guess is that Silda is still understandably so shell-shocked at this time that she hasn't quite regained her grounding yet. But she will, and how she chooses to live out the rest of her life is still a wide-open question.

I am in my (very) late fifties, and have been married more than once. Although I can't claim the socioeconomic or academic background of Silda Wall, there are some things that I, and thousands of women in America, share.