An A-to-Z Review of George W. Bush, Amateur President

As our long national nightmare slowly winds to a close, let's take a fond A-to-Z look back at the eight-year funfest that has become better known as the presidency of Dumb-Ass.

A is for John Ashcroft

As Attorney General, Ashcroft had the Spirit of Justice statue which stands in the Justice Department covered in drapes because the chick depicted in the sculpture was (GASP!) partially nude. His conservative views on pornography were given as the reason for the cover-up. Yep, nothing gets those juices flowing like the sight of aluminum boobies.

B is for Osama Bin Laden

Remember him? He's the dude President Hard-Ass was referring to when he said shortly after the 9/11 attacks, "If he thinks he can hide from the United States and our allies he will be sorely mistaken." That was nearly seven years ago. But let's not judge the President too harshly for not capturing the bastard. It's really hard to find something you ain't lookin' for.

C is for Crawford

To get away from the daily grind of being a blooming idiot, the "Vacation President" escapes to his ranch in Crawford, Texas.

D is for Dick Cheney

The only way the Vice President could have a more appropriate moniker would be if his last name was Head.

E is for The Education President

That is how our leader, who once asked the question "Is our children learning?" would like to be remembered. Never mind that he was hardly the "Education Student." Hint to President Stupid: If you read, you will learn! P.S. Archie comic books don't count.

F is for Fucked

Yep, pretty harsh language; but that's what America has been ever since the Supreme Court (motto: Making it up as we go along) decided it would be funny to put a monkey in charge.

G is for God

Dubya says he believes God (not the Supreme Court) chose him to lead our nation. So apparently all this stuff we keep hearing about God loving us is nothing more than a flaming pile of dog poop.

H is for Hurricane Katrina