Twenty Ways to Have a Dreadful Stay at Camp

Sending your child away to overnight camp is a wonderful adventure for your son or daughter. There are so many fun activities to do and new friends to meet. However, some activities and functions may not be so pleasurable. Here is a list of things that campers do not look forward to doing:

1. Learning to make knots with boa constrictors.

2. Taking a hike through the dense forest without any bug spray.

3. Eating mashed potatoes that resemble tennis balls.

4. Sleeping in a cabin with eight other campers who have snoring problems.

5. Swimming in a lake with a warning sign next to it that says "This water is unsafe to swim in."

6. Being fed beans for dinner and then going into your cramped cabin with your smelly fellow campers.

7. Being the target for bow and arrow practice.

8. Taking out a canoe with a patched up hole. Of course, the patch disappears and so does the canoe.

9. Using toilet paper rolls for an art project and then realize afterwards that there is no more toilet paper left in camp.

10. Getting ready for the sack race when your camp counselor pulls the sack over your head.

11. Having big black spiders feasting on your body while you're asleep.

12. Having a mosquito naming contest.

13. Watching two flies enjoying a dip in your onion soup.

14. Sleeping on a mattress that is so worn and moldy that it looks like its coming alive. The pillow is the size of a brick and just as hard.

15. Going for a three mile hike without sunblock protection, out in the open air. "It's not easy being red. It's the color of your head." (and the rest of your body)

16. Going on a mud hike that ends up leading to a walk through quicksand.

17. Listening to the sounds of nature and then finding yourself face to face with a large, black bear.

18. Having bug juice with real live bugs.

19. Taking a shower where all the water is ice cold. (and brown)

20. Having seven days of torrential rain. To make matters worse, on the last day the camp has a tornado that sweeps across the camp grounds. Talk about your blow out experience. Your cabin ends up resembling the house from the Wizard of Oz. And you're saying, "There's no place like home."