Recovery is like an Onion

This article's focus is on biblical recovery for survivors of abuse, so I must begin with an explanation of what boundaries are and why they are necessary.

Having clear boundaries is essential to a healthy, balanced lifestyle. A boundary is a personal property line that marks those things for which we areresponsible. In other words, boundaries define who we are and who we are not. Boundaries impact all areas of our lives.

*Physical boundaries help us determine who may touch us.
* Mental boundaries give us the freedom to have our own thoughts.
* Emotional boundaries help us to deal with our own emotions.
* Spiritual boundaries help us to distinguish God's will from our own.

In short, no boundaries, no recovery.

I have been giving serious thoughts lately to who the "dangerous people" are for those of us who have survived abuse and are trying to become whole. Unless we can recognize the different types of danger out there, there is a strong likelihood we will be derailed in our recovery.

Recovery is a process. Think of peeling an onion. The first layer of flaky skin is taken off. Good! We probably have decided we need help. We find competent help and begin the journey. Soon the second layer of flaky skin is shed. Excellent! Now we are beginning to see what the problem is! There could be months in between the first and second layers of onion skin. As each layer is shed, the odor and sting become stronger, but we persevere because we want to be whole, complete with dignity and a healthy sense of self.

Sometimes there are years in between layers of onion skins. We thought we were doing so well, and then BAM! Someone verbally slaps us, and we feel as if we're back at step one. It takes longer this time to process what happened and how we need to deal with it. That's where committed Christians have an advantage: they have a real Source outside of themselves. He's God Almighty with power to give us insight that actually helps. Of course, we have to have a teachable spirit and be humble enough to ask for His help.