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Can John Edwards "save" Barack Obama?

By Bryan Belrad, published May 15, 2008
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The Clinton campaign has proclaimed that Barack Obama has a problem, that he doesn't appeal to the "blue collar" white old/female/bigot voters. Of course, the fact that he won North Carolina, a state featuring a huge population of blue collar, white voters, many of whom are old and/or females and/or bigots, by a crushing majority makes no nevermind: he lost West Virginia by a titanic margin.

So, clearly, it must be the blue collar thing. What else could hurt him so badly there?

In the words of West Virginians, young and old, male and female, and definitely white: "It's the racial thing - he's not like us, and I'm not comfortable with that." "He's a Muslim, isn't he?" "I can't vote for anyone who is named Hussein. I've had enough of their kind."

What, nothing about guns?

Well, at least we know bigotry and ignorance aren't the problem.

But wait! In this dark moment, where Hope itself is about to falter and fail (fail to win an unanimous victory), here comes the One man who can save the day!

Enter John Edwards. Here, arriving at Barack's side in just the nick of time, comes the man who was considered THE blue-collar candidate just a few months before ($400 haircut aside). He stood up for the working man, he was the physical embodiment of all that is good and righteous about the White people. He is as non-Muslim-looking as they come; he's handsome, charming, and definitely somebody that the 'We're not bitter, clingy people with antipathy' people (who are bitter clingy, and filled with antipathy) can get behind.

In a contest where being in 2nd place means you're 'clearly the obvious Choice' for the party's nominee, having come in 3rd must be the equivalent of Divine Ordination. Does anybody smell... running mate?

Did You Know?
If West Virginia is going to be all racist, then I will too. I'm going to vote for the Irish candidate: O'bama '08!
Comments
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"even though they clamor for that very thing, what could be more appealing than a face exactly like theirs (but with a few more teeth)?"...wickedly funny.

Posted on 05/27/2008 at 7:05:17 PM

 
The blue-collar issue aside, Edwards would be a smart choice for Barack as a running mate. Trying to pair Barack and Hillary together would be like continually watching two teenage boys fight over the last piece of pizza. I can't imagine her (as vice president) being able to get out of the way long enough to allow him to attempt to run the country. Edwards on the other hand is used to being the low man on the totem pole. :)

Posted on 05/15/2008 at 3:05:23 PM

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