How to Tell You Aren't a Lady !

I once had a teacher who stated in class before a holiday season that there is nothing more distasteful than seeing a woman drunk. I guess that was a warning to the lasses in class to mind our manners over vacation. What are the signs you may have had a lapse in ladylike behavior? We all have our moments.... Alas!

You are way drunk out in public. People are staring at you!

Your sexual conquests are in the triple digits !

You met your man when you tucked your business card into his pocket his jeans because you thought he looked cute passed out up there on the roof of his car.

Your bed has been the scene of a business deal.

You can bench press a small man.

WTF is your workday motto!

Yeah, you had a few abortions, buy hey you can count them all if you use both hands.

You once cold cocked someone who sexually harassed you at work. (He deserved it)

You have occasionally been told: You got balls !

You aren't a stranger to the symptoms of VD.

Your nickname is so raunchy people grimace when they hear it.

You have been known to puke in unexpected places.

You realize someone looks familiar and can't remember why.... Until he winks at you and then those memories rush in.

When spitting out watermelon seeds you had one land on someone's face.

Sometimes you laugh way too loudly!