Poem: Feeling Lost

How did I get here?; You say to no one
You know that state of mind you wish you were in
Caught of guard again by your own rationality
Disgusted by all that you have known
And those buttons quietly waiting, begging to be pressed
The dark side of life; it's all you've known really
What falls down never goes back up in your world
Let your imagination do the talking; from a scream to a whisper
Get me through this night
Just get me through the fear
I'm learning the meaning of loneliness
Breaking out in a cold sweat
Worked into a frenzy as you pace the halls of your mind
As you lose yourself in the process
If anything, it is going to get harder
What have I done to deserve such a fate?
Take more than you need, you say
Not even in the next lifetime, you lie so convincingly
I can't go any further; whatever it is it can wait
The farther away from me and the farther away me
Escape the madness; flee from absolute
They say you have to keep living as long as you're alive
What you hear is seldom true
No one really knows why they are who they are
And who they are doesn't stop them from being what they are

And still the light you've only dreamt of is blocked at every turn
And you feel like a guest in your own home
You don't know whether you're coming or going
Where do you go from here?
Your brain never sleeps, your thoughts are in control
You'll always find a way to screw things up
Send out an SOS to anyone who will listen
Anticipating your next move like a chess game
You can't argue with numbers only facts
And still, I've tried everything, tried to be safe
Safe and sound with the sound of my heart beating under pressure
Moving pictures, filtering the sullen and the abused
You are your own tragedy; in life and death
Flashing before your eyes is a moment of clarity
What you do with it is unknown; a message of hope is out there
Yesterday is history, tomorrow a mystery, the future is certain
A hint of freedom in your darkest dreams
This years promise is sure to be blown over in angst
Blacking out the soul of another, romancing the fake smiles
Your heart is settling for less than none
Up above, riding in the sky, a lost mistake is to be repeated
I'm not ready to be known
I'm not ready to be