To Pee or Not to Pee

Many young boys want to be astronauts or fighter pilots when they grow up. Nothing wrong with that. Those guys can be heroic figures and worthy role models to emulate. In one respect, however, these heroes are just as human and vulnerable as you and I.

I'm talking about bodily functions. Whether you're a tough guy or a wimp. When you have to go, you have to go. We desk jockeys may not realize it, but an activity we take for granted can become real yucky for the fly boys.

Consider this scenario. You are a top gun hurtling through the skies in your F-16 at Mach 6. Suddenly you feel an overwhelming urge to relieve yourself. What do you do? You're 60,000 feet above the earth; and you don't have the luxury of a co-pilot who can take over for you while you visit the john. It's a kind of as-is where-is situation. Moreover, you are not only zipped up tight in your flight suit, you are also securely harnessed to your seat. Fighter planes don't have seat belts with easy, lift-up latches. I think you are starting to get the picture.

Here is what actually happens. When his bladder is ready to burst, a pilot has to fly and unbuckle the harness at the same time, while using both hands to manoeuvre around in a seat to which he she is virtually moulded. And if you happen to be a woman, good luck to you. And what happens after you finally manage to unzip your fly? You "go": in a bag - quaintly referred to as a "piddle pack". This is nothing but a heavy-duty bag containing absorbent sponges. Needless to say the piddle pack - and your refuse - stays attached to you until you get beck on terra firma. Until now, all you could do was avoid liquids before taking off