Anger Management-Since when Did Anger Become an Excuse for Abuse?

This article is a response to Anger Management, published on May 22, 2005

Anger management is quickly becoming all the rage in America, serving as the generic remedy for anyone that gets a little hot under the collar once in awhile. In truth, anger is one of the emotions that we all have to deal with in our lives. We could probably all use some anger management tips at times. How we respond to our anger is the dividing line between the everyday angry person and the person who tries to use their anger as a weapon. The problem with the acceptance of the cure-all anger management solution, however, is that it can be dangerously misleading to those who are living with someone who has much more than just an "anger problem."

More than Just an Anger Problem

Hearing the term anger management still makes me wince a little. In the five years that I spent working with women and children who were abused, I cannot even count the number of times when victims of violence were misled into believing that their abuser had an "anger management" problem. The abuse of the term anger management spreads far and wide.

It starts in the home, with the anger myth, passed down generation to generation, accounting for the hostile and controlling husbands and fathers who punish with enthusiasm, because they have an "anger problem." It may not be in vogue to challenge the myth, but the proper terms for such behaviors are, domestic violence and child abuse, respectively. If children have to tiptoe around the house when the "angry" parent is home in fear of sparking that person's temper, anger management will not help. Families that live with the threat of somebody's unpredictable wrath are in a dangerous situation.