What to Do when a Friend Loses a Pet

What to say and do when someone we know experiences a death close to them is often an awkward, difficult situation. It’s challenging to know exactly what to say and what to do. The awkwardness can be compounded when a friend loses a pet - it’s hard to know what is appropriate and what is needed, not to mention how we can be helpful and supportive as friends. Here are some suggestions for helping a friend who has lost a pet: 

Just like other grieving situations, everyone reacts differently. Some people are very attached to their pets and treat them like members of the family - while others may take the “they’re animals” point of view. You can likely assume that the longer a pet was a member of your friend’s family, the more likely the attachment is rather strong. You should be able to pick up on clues about how the loss is being absorbed. To be on the safe side, it is good manners to offer your condolences and ask if there is anything you can do - just as you would for a human loss. 

Managing details can be overwhelming in times of grief - offer to bring over dinner or a treat and help put away the pet’s belongings, dishes, etc. While some people may prefer to do this alone, others will appreciate help. Either way, the offer will be taken as the caring and considerate gesture that it is. 

Providing a listening ear, or asking to see photos of the pet can also be helpful. Some people may feel embarrassed or self conscious sharing their grief and it can be a relief to be able to talk through memories and show photos of past adventures. Some things to avoid saying when someone is grieving a pet‘s death: 1. “It was his time to go.” 2. “Now you can get a new dog/cat.” or 3. “Won’t it be nice not to be tied to the house and Buster?” You get the idea.