Successful Conversation in Marriage

I may not be a psychiatrist or psychologist, but I have been married for eleven years. In this day and age where over half of marriages end in divorce, perhaps I am not only blessed but actually doing something right. I hope that some of my observations are helpful for you or someone you know.

Everyone says that in order to have a successful marriage you have to communicate, and they're right. But what is communication? Per definition, communication is a discussion between one person and another. But that isn't just talking, it's understanding in what ways the other person expresses his or her views. These differences more than often seem to be common in the differences between upbringing and society, but more regularly it is seen in the differences between genders.

To have successful conversation in marriage one needs to be able to understand not only the female but male perspective as well. In fact, a novel idea may be to actually discuss discussion. What do you mean when you are saying something like that? This is what I mean when I say that, and I think that you are meaning this. It can give amazing and fascinating insight into successful conversations in marriage. Let me describe a strong "for example."

On the way home my wife calls me and asks me how close to home I am. Now, when she asks this, she doesn't really want to know, honestly, how close to home I am. What she wants to know is whether or not my distance from home would cause an inconvenience if I were then asked to go and buy her a Coke at the store. However, if I say, "Oh, I'm only a block away," then suddenly she is a little annoyed and even perhaps upset ('cause she thinks it will be a big effort now to go and pick up that Coke for her). I, being the relatively observant male that I believe I am, would pick up on that annoyance and suddenly, if I misread it, it could be misconstrued that she is upset that she will be seeing me sooner than she planned.