Five of the Worst Holiday Films Ever

The upcoming holidays will, of course, yield the typical TV showings of seasonal-inspired movies. While some are like cozy old friends whose visits we cherish every year, others bring out the Scrooge in us.

Five of the worst offenders are:

Babes in Toyland (1986)

It's great that some filmmakers attempt to provide G-rated holiday movies we can let our kids watch, but that doesn't mean we will automatically enjoy them, if they're not made well. 

"Family-friendly" is not synonymous with "brain dead."

I have seen three versions of Babes In Toyland, the 1934 one with Laurel and Hardy, the 1961 one with Annette Funicello and Tommy Sands and now this one. Although the eras they were made in and the casts are different, there is one common denominator ...sheer boredom.

In the more recent version of this "classic," Drew Barrymore plays the noble little Lisa, who, after an accident, wakes up in Toyland to encounter a bunch of Mother Goose characters and a lot of cutesy characters, like live teddy bears and toy soldiers.
During her time in Toyland, young Lisa saves the day by keeping the evil Barnaby from taking over Toyland and from marrying Mother Hubbard's beautiful daughter Mary, who is really in love with Jack B. Nimble, Jr. (who happens to be played by none other than Keanu Reeves, who looks as though he would rather be surfing someplace than stuck in this sappy role.)

The musical numbers are dreadful, the plot is nonsensical and the entire film is just tedious to watch.

Kids over the age of 8 will find this too long and way too silly. (The villain's sidekicks are two albino hunchbacks. Does that give you a clue about how bad this one is?) 


Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)

Let me start off with this little trivia fact: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians helped launch the early acting career of Pia Zadora... and we all know what kind of career she grew up to have.