Poker After Dark? Might as Well Go All-In

I think we Americans have officially lost our marbles. Of course that became rather apparent when we all got together and decided it would be a good idea to give George W. Bush eight years to take a stable country and drive it headlong into the ground. But there are other signs too, like the current onslaught of TV shows that revolve around the thrills and spills of a bunch of people sitting around a table and playing cards. Wow, how exciting!

On any given day, at any given hour, you can plant yourself in front of your TV and feel your brain slowly melt as extraordinarily self-centered and obnoxious individuals in sunglasses jabber about how smart they are while annoyingly fingering their chips.

The Game Show Network brings us High Stakes Poker, which is hosted by Gabe Kaplan of Welcome Back Kotter fame and A.J. Benza of no fame in particular. Kaplan and Benza actually do play-by-play. Can you believe it? Play-by-play!

"And here's the flop, Gabe!"

"Wow! Excellent flop, A.J. Let's look at it again in slow motion."

ESPN not only covers the World Series of Poker each year, but ESPN Classic delights viewers with past WSOP battles. And believe me; nothing produces chills like reliving that "all-in" move on pocket deuces by Doyle Brunson back in '83. (Note to poker history geeks, please do not contact me. I have no idea whether or not Brunson went all-in on pocket deuces, nor do I care. I made it up, so leave me alone!)

Additionally, World Poker Tour is televised on the Travel Channel, while Bravo presents Celebrity Poker Showdown. Plus, there are countless tournaments televised throughout the year on various channels. Seems we Americans just can't get enough of watching other people play cards.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy playing poker. In fact, I was playing the game long before anyone had the slightest idea that it could be a spectator sport. But I can't understand why anyone would want to watch a game that doesn't have cheerleaders.