Another Day in the Subconscious

Melvin sat nervously in the black leather chair and glanced around at the medical degrees on the wall. He thought to himself that he always hated the way such places are decorated, as though all of the therapists in the world somehow conspired to find the most banal decorating schemes in order to up the stupefying effects of modern psychopharmacology. Dr. Pritchard leaned back, looking over the top of his glasses at the yellow legal pad perched on his lap and concealed artfully from the patient's view. Melvin wondered if Dr. Pritchard wasn't recording symptoms for a medical file but simply doodling as he pontificated about the mysterious gurglings of Melvin's subconscious. Waiting for the session to begin, Melvin's folded his stubby hands on his lap; his gut protruded over his metal belt buckle-the discomfort kept him awake.

"So you've been taking the setocylabin all week?"

"Yes Doctor."

"And have you felt your anxiety abate?"

"Yes Doctor. I have."

"How do you feel."

"I mean Ok, I guess. Work is going good. The other day Mr. Sniggles, my boss, ragged me out about some sales entries in the company data base that I did. In the past I would've broke down crying but I didn't. I looked him in the eye without too much trouble and, with a firm voice, I said, I'll try to do better next time, sir."

"That's good Melvin. That's very good. And how about socially?"

"I had a date this week."

"And how did that go?"

"So-So. We had a nice dinner and all and then I took her to see the "Glass Menagerie" at the playhouse. I don't think she really liked it."

"Why do you think that?"

"She said it was good."

"And?"

"And nothing. She just said it was good."

"Hmm." Two hundred an hour for 'Hmm?' Melvin mused.

"Any problems with the medication, Melvin?"

"What do you mean by problems?"

"Any nausea, dizziness?"

"No."

"Any skin reactions, cotton mouth?"

"No."

"Any problems at all?" Go ahead, tell him.

"Well..."

"Is something the matter?"

"No, I mean, not really..."

"Melvin you can tell me, that's what I'm here for." This is so embarrassing.

"There has been something."

"Is it sexual? Impotence? Loss of libido?"