Liquor in the Front. Poker in the Rear

Liquor in the front and
Poker in the rear
We came to play some cards
And drink some ice cold beer

Mr. Furley and his lady
Came to pick me up
We were going to a benefit
And guess what was in his cup

We arrived rather promptly
To the supposed country club
That's where we found the kid
Enjoying beverages in the pub

More like a club in the country
We would match our wits and our skill
With some good ol' boys from Jersey
That just finished cleaning their road kill

As we all would find our tables
With assigned number and assigned seat
We double-counted all our chips
And tried to pick-out who might cheat

This tourney was for the novice
But some entries thought they were pro
The game moved along quite swiftly
And players piled up their dough

The kid and I stayed in it
Playing slow and adding chips
But that bettor Mr. Furley
Was at a table taking a hit

The stakes were quickly raised
To start counting suckers out
We survived a couple of rounds
This would surely be no rout

The kid and I got caught
Trying to call another's bluff
Two pairs won't beat the trips
And a straight can't beat a flush

But Furley, he was in it
Catching cards from left and right
He made the final table
With the booty in his sight

Some old bird, though, finally caught him
About half way through the round
And he says he can't remember
Why he laid that last bet down

"As long as I got drunk"
That's Mr. Furley's motto
They can call his bluff and take his chips
So long as he gets blotto