The Gloomy-bird

Many summers ago, circling high over the sleepy little village, came the Gloomy-Bird. People knew something terrible was about to happen, as had a hundred years ago when this monstrous creature last appeared out of the wilderness. Their folklore was filled with tales of the horrible vulture of doom that could carry off a full-grown man as if he were a rag doll. Word spread like wildfire.

Peering out the window of their mother's house, young Scooter and Biff wondered if they would be affected by this new turn of events. They watched the giant bird make wide leisurely circles as it floated in the clear blue sky. Their mother shooed them away from the window, saying, "Now dontcha be a bringin' dat bad luck onta dis house, lemme tell ya. You getcha back ta yer rooms an dontcha let dat Gloomy-Bird see ya, I tells ya dat!"

Scooter and Biff ran to their room and shut the door. "Why do people have to talk with that stupid accent?" Biff wondered aloud. "She is murdering the language, just like everyone else in this sleepy little village."

"Yes, you are quite correct," replied Scooter, using perfect diction. "I am not afraid of the Gloomy-Bird, nor do I believe in old wives tales." They were ready for a little excitement. Meanwhile mother lit the fireplace and was nailing closed all the shutters and doors, still muttering to herself.

In town, the bravest men gathered weapons. The elders organized the militia, and took a command post on top of the town hall. From there they could see the entire landscape, and give orders if and when they agreed on what to do. One wanted to simply put up a big sign that read, "Go Away!" and hide in the basement.

All afternoon the Gloomy-Bird watched the village, slowly drifting lower and lower, and pooping once. Fear consumed the land as people hid in their houses. Some got drunk and partied like there was no tomorrow. Woodland creatures stayed in their burrows, birds in their nests. Even the village idiot was scared. He ran around with a potato tied to his belt crying 'Fowl' until someone pushed him down the well.