Finding Better Online Support for Second Wives and Stepmoms

Many of you who will read this article might have seen the 1996 movie, The First Wives Club or read the book the movie was based on, written by the late Olivia Goldsmith.  I know I did, well before I ever dreamed I'd be a card carrying member of the Second Wives Club.  The movie and the book made it look like first wives who get divorced always get shafted in the process because second wives supposedly benefit from their husband's successes in their careers.  If you were to fully believe the story related in TheFirst Wives Club, you might think that men who get divorced always marry bimbos or trophy wives, trading their older first wives for flashier models and leaving them to deal with bills, children, and a much lower standard of living.  

I read the book TheFirst Wives Club before I saw the movie.  I was unmarried at the time and totally unfamiliar with divorce.  And like a lot of people who had never been in that situation, I thought the story, especially as it showed the first wives getting revenge on their ex husbands, was clever and funny.  But, as I later found out when I actually became a second wife, there's always another side to every story.  On November 16th, my husband and I will be celebrating our fourth year of marriage. And despite the fact that I am my husband's second wife and officially the stepmom to his three kids, we're still very happy.  But our four years as man and wife have not been without drama stemming from the fact that my husband used to be married to another woman and had children with her.  Not long after our wedding, I found myself online looking for a place to discuss the following complicated "step issues" that we've encountered.